Amazon is a serious marketplace. You sell on Amazon. We buy on Amazon. Jeff Bezos, the King of Amazon, rules his kingdom from an actual throne (a real fact). Sometimes though, products end up on the marketplace that are so beyond the realm of what you would ever expect, all you can do is ask yourself, “How?” How did someone just describe holy water as copyrighted? How did that jar of Hellman’s mayonnaise wind up as the image for a gun listing? Amazon is great, but sometimes (albeit rarely), it’s baffling what ends up on there. Since it’s the end of the week, and we figure you could use a good laugh, here is one of the worst (we mean it, the worst) products listed on Amazon, and its accompanying reviews that are so full of sarcasm, we don’t know how this product survived the burn.
Finally! A product for all you multitaskers out there. Driving while looking at the road is so passé. Bring you laptop everywhere, and catapult into your impending doom while finalizing the spreadsheets for next week’s development meeting. Be productive until the very last second.
The problem here, is obvious (we hope. Oh God, we hope). The impressively high 4-star review for a product we are pretty sure will result in your certain death is due to the 1,132 facetious reviews left by some good-humored people. Here are a few of my favorites:
And, my personal favorite, the one that really speaks to me in my teenage angst years:
If any of these customers did actually buy this product for its intended use and not as a gift to bring to a White Elephant party, I have a hard time believing they are alive and well enough to leave a review. But who knows. Maybe you can still log into Amazon in the Afterlife. That’s something Bezos should look in to.
Happy Friday everyone. Be safe. Don’t buy this product, and if you do, make sure you have this on your car too.